| |
Naeem Bokhari  Refreshed after a vacation to the Caymen Islands, Naeem is full of new stories for public consumption. “The beaches there are loaded with bathing beauties, but what strikes me most is the clean stretch of beach and the turquoise water.
They take you down in a sub-marine and you can see electric rays, giant turtles and the coral reef. However, what impressed me most was the governor’s mansion on the beach, outside.
which is a modest sign, which says ‘please respect the Governors privacy’. You can often see people going about in the house and there are no barricades, but you don’t see outsiders crowding outside or taking pictures of the house and its occupants. It was amazing.”
Absolutely and obviously in love with the screen, Naeem spent a great deal of time going to the cinema during his vacation. “I saw True Lies, which I liked very much, Clear and present Danger, The Mask and a few more.
In Clear and Present Danger, there would be these endless special effects, which didn’t write tally with Harrison Ford’s personality, although I’m a great fan of his. Didn’t quite like Mel Gibson’d Maverick, but sat through Al Paccino’s Scent of a Woman for the eight time.”
An avid reader, he has returned with a collection of newly bought books and admits that “I’m quite a hyper person and sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, I can’t go back to sleep. You can either brood or read.
So I read. “But he says he understands that married people can’t do that. “A problem with married life is that you can’t out the lamp on. If I get married, I will have separate bedrooms this time.
Why not meet your wife in the morning with brushed teeth, in a more presentable state. I love that statement by Omar Sharif: ‘I would lose all respect for any women who desired to marry me.” But I really think separate bathrooms are necessary.”
A trip abroad is not quite complete if one dosen’t buy books, says naeem. “I bought the book of virtue by bennet junior.” He goes on uninterrupted about the thesis of that book: “Crass materialism leads to the loss of spiritualism. Junior is his book is dealing with the American concept of consumption.
He asks why is it that there are 52 brands of toothpaste in the American supermarket and only two kinds in a Chinese store/ Are American teeth cleaner than Chinese? Does it really make a difference in the ultimate analysis? Does Zardari sleep better thinking that he has, shall we say ‘earned legitimately’ two hundred million dollars? What good did it do to him spending 26 months in jail?”
After treating three other books in the same manner, Naeem advises the book buff to buy theirs from Willby’s , “where you can get second hand books at half price.” When he wasn’t buying books or watching films, Naeem would be seen jogging.
in Hyde Park, walking the old streets of London, chatting up strange women and the odd gora! And of course there is his passion for suits, of which naeem is so proud. “If you buy unstitched material from Bond Street, it costs about Rs 1250 a suit. But if you get it from Bradford, Manchester or Sheffield you can get it just for Rs 75 because I is manufactured there.
So watch out for my new suits, I’ve got nine of them!” And in response to the raised eye brows at his extravagance, his ready answer is: “Why Not, if I can afford it? Bhai khudnumai buri baat hai, magar khushnumai to jaiz hai!”
Looking slightly smug, but with a twinle in his eye, he talks about the new love of his life. “There’s this very good friend of mine, Saeed Chaudhry. I visited him about six months ago and saw this car in his garage, which was covered with dust.
I cleaned it just a little bit and saw this beauty emerge from under the dust. It had only done 30,000 KM. I spent about a lac on it and now I have this brilliant red Mercedes. She is my new girlfriend.”
Of course a few words had to be said about the girlfriend’s previous owner as well: “Mashallah, Saeed Chaudhry has done very well for himself and we are very close to each other because I believe that a higher quality of friendship exists only between two friends of the same sex, because there is always sexual tension between a man and a woman.
Once I gave a compliment to a lady: ‘I am so fond of you that if you were a man you would have been my closest friend,’ because I was trying to overlook the fact that she was a woman.
So I feel that friendship between a man and a woman can be a tricky relationship really.” And to resolve the tricky problem he quotes his friend Aristotle: “True friendship only exists between man to man.” No wonder he has decided that all marriages are failures. “Some fail with grace, some with a blast. However, you may become comfortable with the relationship as with an old habit.
My parents have been married for 53 years and my father adores me mother, but I don’t think she is his friend and I don’t think he even realizes it.”
Along with his anti-consumerism slogans, his Mercedes, the suits he bought recently and his tricky friendships, one is tempted to ask what a typical day in Naeem Bokhari’s life is like? “It is a continuous cycle of work and fun,” he says. “I get up early, spend some time with my parents, jog and go for my classes.
About lunchtime, I go to my office and late in the evening I finish work. And after eight, I socialize and spend time with my friends.” That was Neem Bokhari for you, TV’s most condescending fun guy.
|
|
