The world according to Ayeshah
Ayeshah Alam has always made heads turn with her straightforward dealings in real and reel life. Her recent performance with Jane Fonda for the Mumbai public was just another feather in the cap of a model turned actor turned producer and director who thinks nothing of courting controversy

"I plan to bring some serious changes to our society!" Don't be surprised if you find Ayeshah Alam making as serious a pledge as politicians do during the election campaign. The only difference is that she really means it. And this is just one of the things that the model-turned-actress-turned-theatre performer aims to do.

It is wonderful to see such women who continue to have the best of both worlds. Ayeshah Alam is one such person who seems to rule her profession and household matters a tad too well.

"I have always invested myself in the role I was given to play, which had serious effects on my emotional life but I guess that's what acting is all about," she comes on describing her passion for the profession on which she has come to depend on.

Ayeshah's association with television goes back a long way. "Been there, done that" is the impression she would like to give when she talks about her sojourn in acting. "I want to thank everyone, it has really been a fun ride for me," Ayeshah Alam utters as she looks back to her rather elaborate career which included modelling, acting and now production.

Ayeshah is one of the few actresses who have kept up with theatre even as they court the better paying medium of television. Flitting between TV and theatre over the past several years, Ayeshah recently created quite a sensation with The Vagina Monologues performed in a closed-door setting.

After being a part of the internationally acclaimed play made for awareness of women's rights, she plans to continue theatre, which is now a diminishing medium in the country.

And the theatre she does is definitely not run of the mill. Her successful attempt to bring The V-Monologues to Pakistan was controversial enough to shock our liberal elite. But she managed to get away with it, as it was for a select audience. Now she wants to take it to girls' colleges and she is planning to do it in the near future.

The recent buzz is her performance for the Mumbai theatre audience where she performed with Jane Fonda in Eve Ensler's latest play Necessary Targets. In the same trip, she performed with Fonda on The V-Monologues.

"That was a great twist in my career. I have always dreamt of performing with someone of the calibre of Jane Fonda," Ayeshah shares her excitement.

According to Ayeshah, the Indian audience is no different from their Pakistani counterparts when it comes to something as unusual as The V-Monologues. "It was as closed doors there (in India) as it was here. India is even more conservative a society than us," she reveals.

Ayeshah plans to bring Ensler's new play to Pakistan. One may attribute it to her current obsession with the author's plays but Ayeshah has more of a reason.

"The play evokes your emotions which are very similar to what we are going through. It is set in a Bosnian camp; it reminds us of similar issues we deal with in Kashmir. We broke the audience down in tears even though it was only a read," she says.

Ayeshah admits that Necessary Targets would be as difficult a target as The V-Monologues was, considering its controversial status. "Honestly speaking, I'm a little apprehensive doing theatre now. Perhaps because after doing The V-Monologues, people want something that is equally controversial and bold," she tells.

Her theatrical performance on The V-Monologues was certainly something that wasn't attempted before. The play might have been enacted behind closed doors but the news was everywhere.

The play was clearly inviting trouble in a country where, in the cultural mainstream, everything related to the word 'sex' is taboo. So even if elsewhere in the world, the play is more of a movement, it can't be similarly publicised in our country. "You can't even say the word 'vagina'. It is taboo. There were threats coming already.

I didn't want any of the actresses to get harmed or face a difficult time by doing this theatre," she recounts her apprehensions. But they did do it, led by Ayeshah who is uncompromising once she picks up a cause.

Ayeshah Alam's name has long been synonymous with her sleekly treated and at times bold and controversial plays, whether it's TV or theatre. From her first PTV play Padash; to her string of theatre plays, she has never had issues with playing a bold, independent woman who is not afraid of taking her own decisions.

"That's the way I am, and that's the way I'd like my surroundings to be. I perceive it that way. I mean if I feel that this should happen, then I must work towards it and only this has been the reason.

That I do plays which open us to new and bold things," she utters. "There must be freedom of expression and we all have to stand up for it," she finishes her statement.

Elaborating further on society's discomfort with openness and issues like sex, rape and liberalism she goes on: "We are in the twenty first century, if we keep ourselves entangled in these issues, we would never be able to progress. We have to move ahead, keep abreast with the rest of the world," she speaks up.

Though her relationship with the press is quite good, she voices her discomfort with the way the press hound stars. "The press also has to support us. But sadly, we try and work the Hollywood paparazzi way. We make fun of our own stars instead of supporting them. One example was of the Ali Haider and Nomi case," she asserts.

Quite recently, Ayeshah has also started a column in a local weekly. Perhaps with this she can set an example for local press the way she perceives it. But according to her, this is something not 'very serious'. "It's another outlet of expression for me. I have been given freedom to write whatever I want to.

It doesn't bind me and I love to express myself," she classifies her role as a columnist. From modelling to sharing the stage with Jane Fonda, from directing to writing a column, Ayeshah Alam has come a long way.

Ayeshah started off as a model way back in 1989. The actress who never thought of herself as a model describes her journey as "very, very exciting so far".

"My mother would always tell me that I'm a complete tomboy and that I don't have any ladylike attribute," she smiles. "I came into modelling purely because it was considered taboo at that point in time.

And besides, Nabila had already told me that I have a bland face and you can do so much with it and unfortunately I took it as a compliment," she laughs out loud, making sure that she conveys what she took as a compliment wasn't a compliment.

"At the same time, it really helped me with what I was going through. It gave my confidence back to me, something that I had lost at that time. I was emotionally very scattered and it really helped me to boost my self-esteem," she recalls.

Ayeshah was certainly a perfect example of a gori model with white skin and red lips; and though she was little voluptuous, it never hindered her modelling prospects. She soon became a talked about face while she was modelling, but she didn't stay in the fashion world for long and eventually deviated towards acting, production and theatre.

Even though Ayeshah used modelling as a tool to get over emotional stress, she also feels that not everything is right with modelling. "When I used to model, people would come up to me and say that 'Oh, you have put on so much weight' or 'You really have become healthy' and I used to hate that.

I mean that is so fake that you don't actually know the person behind the persona. You judge people by looking at their photographs. It's rather amusing. I became a mother, put on, lost weight, went through changes and I couldn't put up with it," she gives her reasons for bidding adieu to modelling.

According to Ayeshah, modelling is not a 'clean' profession anymore. She thinks that as glamorous as it may seem from its outlook, it is as shady from inside. She thinks that now modelling is a different ball game altogether and this situation is not favourable for women.

"Apart from models who are staying away from it, modelling has become a glorified term for prostitution. It has become sleazy and dodgy, like other media fields as well. But I think that wherever there are women and money involved, such things are bound to happen.

And now as modelling has become the 'in' thing and accepted in our society, models are getting away with whatever they want to. Now it's more about 'I'll sleep with a richer man than you' than 'I'll take a bigger project than you'. In fact they bag bigger projects for the sake of attracting richer men," Ayeshah speaks her mind out without mincing words.

The next destination for models is usually acting, here and in most parts of the world. Ayeshah took the same route and she finds acting much more interesting than posing pretty for glossy magazines. "I was more of an actress before anything else. I never really took much interest in modelling," she reveals. But she thinks that models are a value addition to the otherwise bland TV screen.

Since models have started coming into plays, the tube can't seem to get enough of the glam factor. Some feel that the art of acting is overshadowed by make-up artistry but Ayeshah disagrees. "You can say that the concept of designer wear, accessorising and grooming has come to TV en route models.

This in turn has made the society more image-conscious," she points out, but in the next breath adds that there is a limit to small screen glamour. "You can only show enough glamour onscreen.

If you are playing a certain character then you have to follow that strictly. You can't go out of your way to embrace glamour because it would affect the character you are playing. Heavy doses of glam are not necessary; in fact they can ruin the role if not needed."

Though TV continues to be the strongest medium in the country and has even taken over cinema, one finds Ayeshah yearning to have the big screen back. "Cinema needs to come back.

We really have to give something that brings back the viewers to the cinema. We need new faces, new team, new directors, producers, etc. We have to revive cinema.

From what I have observed every time a new face makes it to the big screen, the film does well at the box office. Zara Sheikh's first film clicked so well with people. Similarly, Gia Ali was also noticed in her debut which also did good business," she says.

Ayeshah points out that cinema and theatre are not as strong as they could be because of the lack of investment in the two mediums.

"When we go to sponsors, nobody is willingly to invest in a theatre play, but if it is a TV affair, everybody is ready to jump in," she says. "We just can't ignore theatre and cinema. It's sad to know that we actually are. After doing The V-Monologues, I realised how much love we still have for theatre. We have to keep doing it, only then will it be revived."

Ayeshah like other actors of her clan, agree that acting is not financially rewarding enough to keep the kitchen fire burning. "I'm usually broke," she admits. "But I don't really work for money.

Had I been working for money, I would have been doing something else, not acting. I do it because it gives me a high. That's my passion and that has been the reason that I never relied on anything else," she says.

As far as production goes, Ayeshah has been a name behind a number of television plays, talk shows, magazine shows and telefilms. She also plans to put her newest telefilm Hum in Karafilm Festival this year. "The movie is actually an adaptation of The Story of Us.

But it is just an adaptation. I don't mean a copy, as usually that's the general meaning we get from adaptation. Anyway, it's a story about relationships and the hardships we go through while in relationships.

I always want to capture real life and not something that takes you on a trip to fairyland," Ayeshah tells about her recent TV venture which might fall close to her own life.

Though Ayeshah is one of the few working women who manage to retain a fine balance between their personal and professional lives, she like many of her clan, does feel guilty of not devoting enough time to her domestic life.

"I admire those women who devote themselves to families and switch off from work. I wish I could do the same. I completely and truly believe in giving time to your house. It's a huge responsibility, especially if you are a mother.

"The thing is that I'm equally in love with both work and family so for me giving up either one of these is going to be impossible," she concludes confirming that she is here to stay.