Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca's friends contend with their own romantic issues -- all of which collide at the prom. - skip ad -   Genres: Comedy Running Time: August 18th, 2010 (wide) Release Date: PG-13 for crude sexual content, comic violence, language and teen partying. Distributor: 20th Century Fox Cast And Credits Starring: Matt Lanter, Jenn Proske, Chris Riggi, Ken Jeong, Diedrich Bader Directed by: Jason Friedberg Produced by: Arnon Milchan, Peter Safran, Aaron Seltzer

It is never pretty to see the movie industry devour its young, but “Vampires Suck,” a limp lampoon of the “Twilight” series, seems especially redundant. Aside from the difficulty of spoofing a saga that has always been winkingly aware of its own angsty excesses, there is the inadvisability of angering a tweeniverse whose emotional investment in the originals borders on pathological.




View Clip... But this is the world of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the less-than-sophisticated force behind “Epic Movie” and “Meet the Spartans.” Their recipe is to aim low, season with references to image-challenged celebrities — Tiger Woods, Lindsay Lohan — and pile on the genitalia jokes. Hewing mostly to the plots of the first two films (“Twilight” and “New Moon”), this pointless parody dumps us in the fictional town of Sporks, Wash., a location lousy with vampires and werewolves. That gives Becca Crane (Jenn Proske), the newest and twitchiest kid in town, plenty of options for inappropriate dating.

Enter Edward (Matt Lanter), the only immortal who has yet to graduate from high school, and Jacob (Chris Riggi), an American Indian saddled with multiple nipples and a stringy tail. Torn between two suitors — undead or unneutered? — Becca resorts to sleepwalking and sexual provocations. But it’s tough to lose your virginity when one boyfriend has chosen celibacy and the other would rather chase cats.

As bloodsuckers and shape-shifters crawl all over our media (with at least five shows on television alone), their presence on the big screen is likely to leave us more tired than tingly. Though it’s useful to learn that even vampires can be repelled by flatulence — maybe we should eat that garlic instead of draping it on our windows.