Celebrity photographer Connor Mead loves freedom, fun and women... in that order. A committed bachelor who thinks nothing of breaking up with multiple women on a conference call, Connor's mockery of romance proves a real buzz-kill for his kid brother, Paul, and a houseful of well wishers on the eve of Paul's wedding. Just when it looks like Connor may single-handedly ruin the wedding, he is visited by the ghosts of his former jilted girlfriends, who take him on a revealing and hilarious odyssey through his failed relationships--past, present and future. Together they attempt to find out what turned Connor into such an insensitive jerk and whether there is still hope for him to find true love...or if he really is the lost cause everyone thinks he is. - skip ad - Genres: Comedy Running Time: 1 hr. 55 min. Release Date: May 1st, 2009 (wide) MPAA Rating: PG-13 for sexual content throughout, some language and a drug reference. Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution Cast And Credits Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Breckin Meyer, Lacey Chabert, Robert Forster Directed by: Mark Waters Produced by: Mark Waters, Marcus Viscidi, Jessica Tuchinsky

A smear of petroleum jelly might have done wonders for “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past,” a junky-looking romantic comedy that’s neither remotely romantic nor passably comic. An old trick used to soften facial lines, greasing a lens or filter can diffuse the image and, much like candlelight, bring a touch of glamour to a scene.

And if ever a movie needed to have its hard lines eased with some cheap glamour, it’s this one: a crude gloss on Dickens’s “Christmas Carol,” it tracks a high-flying photographer who, on the eve of his brother’s marriage, is forced by several ghosts to revisit a life dedicated to sexual catch and release.

Matthew McConaughey, flashing choppers so blindingly white that he could light his own premiere, plays Connor Mead, one of those rom-com roués whose itchy libidos hide the usual sensitive soul. He’s a cad — he breaks up with three women simultaneously during a video conference — but, really, he’s just heartbroken and waiting for the right woman to help him heal.

That would be Jenny Perotti, a childhood friend played by an uncharacteristically hesitant Jennifer Garner, whose performance suggests that she knows that she’s strictly backup. Less a co-star than a place holder (you can almost see the words “enter generic female lead” in Jon Lucas and Scott Moore’s screenplay), she delivers her indulgent smiles so wanly that her requisite thaw feels more like capitulation than like love.

The director Mark Waters, who typically does better by his actresses, proves of no help to Ms. Garner or anyone else. (Given his smoother work on “Freaky Friday” and “Mean Girls,” it’s hard not to wonder if this production itself were haunted.) Whether by contract or default, “Girlfriends” is strictly a one-man show, a vehicle for Mr. McConaughey’s diminishing returns.

While there’s still a little charm under that permatan, it’s getting tougher for him to sell the goods on only a smile. He might still be capable of delivering an actual performance again, giving up something other than mannerisms (sauntering walk, crinkling eyes, flashing grin), but he needs a director who can help him get going. Age isn’t easy, even for golden boys.

The movie makes much the same point with Uncle Wayne, Connor’s lifelong bad influence. Played by an insistently watchable Michael Douglas, Uncle Wayne is a cautionary tale incarnate: an old-school playboy wrapped in a leathery casing who appears to have been at least partly based on the Hollywood producer Robert Evans.

Now mostly famous for being famous and, to an extent, for his autobiography, “The Kid Stays in the Picture,” Mr. Evans produced classics like “Chinatown” once upon a time. Although Mr. Douglas’s face is often obscured with tinted, oversize glasses and a luxurious wave of hair, almost as if he were trying to duck the camera, he brings this ghost to freakish life. The lizard king no longer rocks, but he certainly does slither.

“Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Sexual stereotypes galore.